Nodes of term Peter Sellers

This is a quick story about the bond formed between a little girl and a group of building workers. It's allegedly true and might help to confirm your belief in the goodness of people and that there is hope for the human race.

A young family moved into a house next door to an empty plot. One day, a gang of building workers turned up to start building on the plot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.

The little girl and the builders

For a happy marriage:

it's important to find a woman who cooks n cleans

it's important to find a woman who makes a bit of money

it's important to find a woman who likes a good time in bed

most of all, it's important these three women never meet
 

For a happy marriage for a man

A couple were invited to a swanky family masked fancy dress Halloween party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and  said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going.

Why you should not flirt

During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

The Bathtub Test

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table.
He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.
 
Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

Gorgeous redhead

THE MAN'S POINT SYSTEM: (more appropriately named 'You Can't Win')

For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here itis:
In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes & you get points. Do something she dislikes  & points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects... Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

Man's point system

Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators so far during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:

1. Weightlifting commentator: 'This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.'

2. Dressage commentator: 'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.'

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: 'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.'

2008 Olympics quotes

The Smiths had tried for years to have a child and not having had  any luck, decided to use a proxy father to start their family.

 On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off.  The man should be here soon".

 Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer  rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.  "Good morning madam. You don 't  know me but I've come to...."

Mrs Smith and the photographer

Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits.

After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off heir habits, and paint naked.

In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. "Who is it?" calls one of the nuns. "Blind man", replies a voice from the other side of the door.

The two nuns look at each other and shrug, both deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.

"Nice boobs," says the man, "Where do you want the blinds?"

Two nuns painting a room

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