Best of bad quiz answers


UNIVERSITY  CHALLENGE   (BBC2)
 
Jeremy Paxman:     What is another name for ‘cherrypickers’ and cheesemongers”s?
Contestant:              Homosexuals.
Paxman:                   No. They’re regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.
 
BEG,  BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
 
Jamie Theakston:   Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant:             Geography isn’t my strong  point.
Theakston:              There’s a clue in the title.
Contestant:              Leicester.

BBC    NORFOLK
Stewart White:   Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
Contestant:        I don’t know.
White:                I’ll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
Contestant:        Arm.
White:                Correct.  And if you’re not weak, you’re…?
Contestant:       Strong.
White:                Correct – and what was Lord Mountbatten’s first name?
Contestant:        Louis.
White:                Well,  there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?
Contestant:        Frank  Sinatra?
 
LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)
Alex Trelinski:   What is the capital of Italy?
Contestant:       France.
Trelinski:           France is another country. Try again.
Contestant:       Oh, um,  Benidorm.
Trelinski:           Wrong, sorry, let’s try another question.  In which country is the Parthenon?
Contestant:       Sorry, I don’t  know.
Trelinski:           Just guess a country then.
Contestant:       Paris.
 
THE WEAKEST  LINK   (BBC2)
Anne Robinson: – Oscar Wilde, Adolf  Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what:
– Prison, or The Conservative  Party?
Contestant:          The Conservative  Party.
 
BEACON RADIO (WOLVERHAMPTON)
DJ Mark:    For 10 Pounds, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Ruth from Rowley Regis:   I think I know that one.  Is it Jewish?
 
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoigne:   What was Gandhi’s first name?
Contestant:                  Goosey?
 
GWR FM   (Bristol)
Presenter:     What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
Contestant:   I  don’t know, I wasn’t watching it then.
 
PHIL WOOD SHOW  (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER)
Phil:               What’s 11 squared?
Contestant:   I don’t  know.
Phil:               I’ll give you a  clue. It’s  two ones with a two in the middle.
Contestant:   Is it five?
 
RICHARD AND JUDY
Q: Which American actor  is married to Nicole Kidman?
A: Forrest  Gump.
 
RICHARD AND JUDY
Leslie:           On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
Contestant:   Er  . .
Leslie:           He makes bread  . .  .
Contestant:   Er . . .
Leslie:           He makes cakes . . .
Contestant:   Kipling Street?
 
LINCS FM   PHONE-IN
Presenter:      Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant:    Barcelona.
Presenter:      I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant:    I’m sorry, I don’t know the names of any countries in Spain.
 
NATIONAL LOTTERY   (BBC1)
Question:       What is the world’s largest continent?
Contestant:    The  Pacific
 
ROCK FM (PRESTON)
Presenter:    Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo Da  Vinci.
Contestant:   Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
 
THE  BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN  (ITV)
Steve Le Fevre:   What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in1918?
Contestant:           Magna  Carta
 
JAMES O’BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
O’Brien:         How many kings of England have been called  Henry?
Contestant:   Er, well, I know there was a  Henry the Eighth … ER….ER… Three?
 
CHRIS SEARLE SHOW  (BBC RADIO  BRISTOL)
Searle:    In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller:     Japan.
Searle:    I did say which European  country, so in case you didn’t hear that, I can let you try  again.
Caller:     Er …  Mexico?
 
PAUL  WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE)
Paul Wappat:   How  long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause):   Fourteen  days.
 
DARYL DENHAM’S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN  RADIO)
Daryl  Denham:           In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant:                 Holland?
Denham:                     Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant:                  Iceland?  Ireland?
Denham (helpfully):    It’s a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant:                  No.
 
PHIL  WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
Wood:           What ‘K’ could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant:   Er .  .
Wood:           It’s got two syllables . . . Kor .  .
Contestant:   Blimey?
Wood:           Ha ha ha, no.   The past participle of run . .
Contestant:   (Silence)
Wood:           OK, try it another way. Today I run,  yesterday I . . .
Contestant:    Walked?
 
THE  VAULT
Melanie  Sykes:   What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant:          Nostalgia.
 
LUNCHTIME SHOW   (BRMB)
Presenter:     What religion was Guy Fawkes?
Contestant:   Jewish.
Presenter:    That’s close enough.
 
STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC  RADIO 2)
Wright:         Johnny Weissmuller died on  this day.   Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?
Contestant:  Jesus


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