hehelarious

A couple were invited to a swanky family masked fancy dress Halloween party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and  said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no…

It turns out that there’s a scientific and logical explanation for why people (mostly men) spend so much time in pubs and only get home in the early hours of the morning. The reason for this odd behavior is based on Einstein’s famous Relativity Theory.  It works like this: it is a well known fact…

A senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z4 convertible out of the car salesroom.  Taking off down the motorway, he  floored it to 160, enjoying the wind blowing  through what little hair he had  left. "Amazing!" he thought as  he flew down the 1, enjoying pushing the pedal to the  metal even more.  Looking…

Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off heir habits,…

During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. “Well,” said the director, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.” “Oh,…

An old farmer in Queensland had owned a large property for several years. He had a dam in one of the lower paddocks where he had planted mango and avocado trees. The dam had been fixed up for swimming when it was built and he also had some picnic tables placed there in the shade…

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed.She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing. The widow, however, says that she…

This is a quick story about the bond formed between a little girl and a group of building workers. It's allegedly true and might help to confirm your belief in the goodness of people and that there is hope for the human race. A young family moved into a house next door to an empty…

For those that don’t know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an ‘Australian treasure!’ General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently. You’ll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback…